Vampire Bugs

An entire species devoted to the annoyance of humankind.They seem created for that expressed purpose alone.The small high pitched whine they make in your ear, the itchy welts, the malaria.. One has to question, what is their purpose in the great scheme of things? The one benefit they bestow upon us is that they are fun, and easy, to kill, and occasionally make pretty scarlet blotches when they expire. Fun for the whole family. I propose therefore, that we capitalise on this. We must begin in earnest the production of miniature, mosquito-sized cigarettes. We must convince their larvae that smoking is Cool, and that all the cool larvae are smoking, and that there is, in fact, no conclusive evidence that smoking six packs a day for eight years will indeed cause their dear little larvae lungs to harden into pencil lead and snap off. Little blood-sucking bastards.

I'm going to try to go to sleep again.