A very Merry Christmas Special

Sumisha says (2:11 AM): heyyy

aaron says (2:12 AM): yyo whut up my nigga, g-dogg, homie.

Sumisha says (2:12 AM): hahahahahahayou ding donggg

aaron says (2:13 AM): you be trippin' dawg. im'a straight up gangsta.

Sumisha says (2:14 AM): lol are you high

aaron says (2:15 AM): heey man a bit uh' green never hurt nobody. and anuthuh' thing. i can--*snort*-- mann thash' good stuff --I can stop whenEVER i wannto.

aaron says (2:16 AM): it ain't got no hold over me ...i'm.. me.. i'm gangsta, homie.

aaron says (2:16 AM): hahahah and no, the answer is no, i'm not high. sorry if it creeped you out a bit.

Sumisha says (2:17 AM): hahahaha thought someonee had a bit too much..ahahaha

aaron says (2:19 AM): a bit too much what, candy cane? i've never cared to experiment, but i have serious doubts that even greatly excessive consumption of holiday candy can intoxicate a person to the extent that he begins to spout ghettospeak. there. lucid enough for you?

Sumisha says (2:21 AM): hahahahahawell u shld try..=)

Singapore

They're like our little brother down south.
- Anonymous


Aaron : (grinning widely) Think about what you just said. Think very anatomically about what you just said.


What? -pause- Ohh my goo-- (giggles like schoolgirl) man,what is wrong with you? huh?? you're sick lah!
- Anonymous


This post is based on a true story. All characters depicted are real. "Anonymous" will remain anonymous, in order to preserve his/her identity, and, more importantly, Aaron's life. Aaron has grown quite attached to his life, and is not ready to let go of it just yet.

For the Fatherland!

This is my reply to Daniel's constant whining about his community(or as he calls it, "Communist") service. Enjoy:

Oh my Mao!

(I is proud Communist; no believe in fake, capitalist lie of "God". Is all big capitalist dog fib -- to corrupt comrade's pure white socialist mind. I ask you, what is "God" opposite-way? DOG! ha! Capitalist DOG! Is one big black Capitalist dog secret conspiracy. I no tell lie, i swear by Mao.)

You dare make incessant grumble for to servicing community?? Is HONOR to sweat, to bleed, for sake of Glorious Independant Happy Socialist Republic of the People. Hard labor good--good for to liberate comrade's brain from corrupt capitalist fibs! I make example... Sugar--Is evil capitalist lie!!! You think, "what harm to me use sugar in standard issue Freedom Tea"?? Many harm!!! Sugar is powerful capitalist happy drug, make you feel many phony joy, but in process, smash brain with big sweet hammer. You start to think many counter-revolutionary thoughts; think there maybe do exist capitalist "God". MANY harm. That is why Comrade Dear Leader Mao be make selfless act, drink his Earl Grey tea with five lump sugar every morning. For YOUR sake, he apply his superior mental and digestive ability to liberate rest of dirty capitalist world..
One packet Earl Grey, five lump sugar at a time.